things i miss about america, part 6

even though it's getting colder here, that still doesn't stop me from wanting ice cream. in fact, i forget the exact statistic but there's a northern state (geographically, i think it's either in the midwest or alaska) eats more ice cream than any other u.s. state. the fact that the other day was the anniversary of the ice cream sundae also tells me this entry is appropriate now more than any other time of year.

ice cream, milkshakes, and malts

now, i'm certainly not suggesting these things don't exist in new zealand or anywhere outside of america. it's just due to different recipes as well as personal preferences, it's all totally different here. i've had some decent ice cream, but nothing as awesome as the ice cream i've had from various places in america. and again, i'm not knocking it, it's just a difference of how americans like ice cream to taste versus how kiwis like it. mostly i just stick to the occasional gelato because gelato is fucking amazing (here at least, the one time i had it in the u.s. it was just eh).

the huge difference here is milkshakes and malts. malts are hard to find here but they can be hard to find in america too, so oh well. but milkshakes, my god. to me, a milkshake consists of a couple scoops of ice cream, milk, and maybe some flavouring like chocolate syrup or something. i prefer black and white shakes (or even better, malts) which is like a chocolate shake but it's made with vanilla ice cream. it's great because i love chocolate, but i hate super chocolatey milkshakes where they're practically black from having so much chocolate syrup in them (and usually made with chocolate ice cream). they're nice and thick, though still drinkable through a straw. here it seems to be a different story.

here the shakes are basically flavoured milk. blech! i like chocolate milk but it's not a substitute for a chocolate milkshake. not to mention the chocolate milkshake syrup used here probably has no chocolate whatsoever in it, it's the fakest crap i've ever tasted. australia's lucky in that at least they have baskin robbins, who i assume would make a milkshake the same way in any country. as much as i love new zealand i gotta admit, at times like that it makes me wonder if i'd feel a little more at home in australia.

there's nothing wrong with putting a little ice cream in that milkshake, guys!

things i miss about america, part 5

i figure this post needs to be made now before it gets too cool to make much sense. these days it's not quite so bad, but when i sit in a room sweltering, i can't help but think about how my bedroom back in america has a nice wonderful air conditioner (the whole house has a/c but i also have a window unit because it gets way too hot in there. i'm not wasteful though, once i got the window unit i closed the vent.) and it's always nice and cool in there. another thing i miss is how come july, everywhere you go is nice and cool.

every building having air conditioning

once it gets to the ridiculously hot part of summer (granted it isn't as hot here) and the high's like 40c/104f every day, it's so wonderful to be able to walk into any building - a store, restaurant, anywhere and be greeted with a wonderful whooshing wall of cool air.

i'm not one to really complain about the heat (or the cold really, because i know in six months' time i'll be wishing for the opposite of the current weather) but memphis summers are brutal. yeah it gets hotter elsewhere, but the desert summers are much more tolerable (i know this, i went to vegas one august) because it's a dry heat.

people throw that phrase around a lot, but coming from somewhere where it isn't a dry heat, trust me. there's a huge difference. i can imagine summer just thinking about it. it gets so hot, humid, and muggy that as soon as you take a step outside, any oil on you (and believe me, you may think your skin is dry, but you'll soon be mistaken) comes out of your pores and sits on top of your arms, face, etc. you could've just taken a shower but now you want to take another one.

it's brutal. everything definitely needs to have air conditioning there. without getting into a bunch of social commentary or anything, there are people in memphis that don't have it and every summer, there's always deaths as a result of this. it's horrible.

anyway, there it's a necessity. here it's definitely considered a luxury item, which is sad. as i said it's better now, but a month or two ago it was torture to be out walking, getting hot and sweaty. then i go to walk inside somewhere and out of habit expect it to be cool, but finding it's usually even hotter than it is outside. plus it's just stupid business practices.

as i walked around doing christmas shopping, 95% of stores (i should point out too i was at the mall, walking in stores that are chains) had no air conditioning. it was ridiculous. i wanted to spend as little time in the stores as possible, and as a result would usually walk out without buying anything. instead of trying to decide if i should buy one thing (or trying to decide between multiple items), i'd just walk out empty-handed. that's lost money for them. i don't blame the stores, though. they just lease the space, they don't own the building. i blame the cheapskate mall developers. they sit in their air conditioned offices, ordering things out of catalogues, online, or if it involves a brick and mortar store, having their assistant do it, they're out of touch with reality. i should stop there or i could go on forever.

in conclusion, people like feeling comfortable! not everyone has the same opinion as to what comfortable is (i've worked with people who were freezing when i was still breaking a sweat - no exaggeration), true. but the great majority tend to find something in the high 60s/high teens as at least somewhat comfortable. make it that temperature year-round, people will linger more. of course when the weather's gorgeous, turn the a/c off and open the door. but in the extreme summer and winter, some climate control is essential.

things i miss about america, part 4

my current phone is slowly dying, so i have been in the market for a new phone as of late. even though there seems to be more competition than ever, especially thanks to the huge market of unlocked phones (which you can then use on any provider, even if said provider does not sell your phone). then you add the ability to buy pretty much any phone from any country and the possibilities seem endless.

while i usually tend to prefer phones that are a bit more upmarket, this entry still stands. one thing i miss is being able to get a free (or very cheap, as in $50 or less) cell phone.

cheap cell phones

while the phone i have my eye on would be just as expensive if i bought it in america (i'm comparing out of contract prices since that is how i will be buying this phone), if you are willing to sign a contract you can get all sorts of discounts. don't get me wrong, there are discounts here too. though a quick search of vodafone's site tells me if i wanted to sign a contract for two years, i only have one free phone and three phones for $49 to choose from. (granted there is a currency exchange involved and these prices are in nzd but the next cheapest phone is $149 which is way more than the aforementioned $50 us.)

however, if i switch back to t-mobile's site (which is who i had my contract with in america and i wouldn't think of switching carriers), there's two free phones, two phones that are $29.99, and one more that is $49.99 - and i'm just looking at the android phones for this. if i look at all phones there's a whopping 13 phones that are free, two for $9.99, and it just goes on from there. basically, tons of options.

unfortunately for me, vodafone nz does not want to carry my phone it seems (though vodafone australia has for a couple months now, strangely enough) and t-mobile is selling a neutered version of it i don't want, especially when it's about as much as the full version is.



isn't that phone hot? it can do all sorts of stuff i won't talk about here as it's not relevant to this entry.

of course, with cell phones also comes the cell phone plan. unless you're only going to use your phone to browse the internet (and do other data-type things) on wifi only, you're going to have to pay to talk, text, and use data when not on wifi. new zealand seems to really be getting the short end of the stick here. i remember when i got my first cell phone, i actually had to pay $1 a month to have caller id. boy have we come a long way since then. though nz, not so much.

i'm not one to use hundreds of minutes every month, so we're going to go with a cheap plan. we will again be comparing t-mobile us to vodafone nz since those are the carriers i would use. plus telecom doesn't seem to be that much different pricewise.

t-mobile offers 500 minutes a month for 39.99 usd. that's the smallest package you can get in terms of minutes. it's ridiculous for me because i never come close to using that many, even when i use my cell phone to make (and receive) every call i'd get i don't even use 100. anyway, to get this, the closest i can find is a 600 minute plan for vodafone. the cost is a whopping...are you sitting down? $229.80 which works out to $172.58 us. yikes.

now, there's no such thing as unlimited data in new zealand so we won't compare those plans. but to get data through t-mobile, you sadly also have to get texts. oh well, i do prefer texting over talking anyway but i still don't text enough anymore to warrant unlimited texts. so 500 minutes with unlimited texting and 200 mb of data is $59.99 a month. there's no unlimited text to choose from with vodafone so i'll pick a plan with the 600 minutes again. you get 600 minutes, 600 texts, and a very generous 3 gb of data. the price is $255.55 - $191.92 us. yiiiikes. i'll just stick to a pay-as-you plan, thanks. it works out to be even more when you price per minute, but i rarely need to use the phone as it is, i'd only need something like a comical 15 minutes per month plan.

last year the prices vodafone and telecom charge here made the news, and i think it's only a matter of time before the prices do start to slowly come down. it might not be very noticeable, but i think eventually they'll realise times have changed, technology's improved, and they don't need to charge as much. the fact that it's already happened in australia makes me optimistic.

things i miss about america, part 3

as much as i love junk food and pretty much every unhealthy food out there, sometimes you really can't beat a nice salad. i particularly crave them any time i don't feel well, probably because i associate being sick with my mom taking me to perkins so i can get a grilled cheese and salad. yummmm that's a good meal. when you ask a little kid their favourite dressing, most will say french dressing. as people get older they pretend to grow out of liking this and get raspberry vinaigrette or something gross instead, but not me. however, that's presented a problem here.

french dressing

no matter what country you're in, you're probably reading this thinking, "wait, we have french dressing here, what are you talking about?" and you're right. the problem is there are two types of french dressing in the world. first, there is the nasty crap that practically everyone outside of america considers french dressing.

doesn't that look gross? it contains olive oil, white/red wine vinegar or lemon juice, and can contain salt, sugar, pepper, mustard, and garlic.

now see, to me that's italian dressing. how it's so different than italian to warrant a different name is beyond me.

the images on the left and right are what i think of (along with the rest of america) when i think of french dressing.

the one on the left is particularly amazing. both kinds taste awesome and though they're both french dressing, they're not very interchangeable. they have similar flavours sure, but the one on the right is unsurprisingly creamier than the other.

doesn't that look yummy? all it needs is some shredded cheese and croutons and it's one of the tastiest things in the world. plus you get to delude yourself into thinking you're eating healthy because it's a salad! (though admittedly i have been known to use low fat dressing and saltines instead of croutons, plus iceberg lettuce tastes gross anyway so i prefer romaine or spinach really.)

so as you can see, what americans call french dressing is far tastier and appealing than what anyone else calls french dressing.

things i miss about america, part 2

seeing as i still have nothing interesting to blog about, i figure i shall discuss another chapter of things i miss in america. this will not become some anti-nz blog or whatever, but yeah.

burgers

saying i miss burgers sounds so silly. thanks to mcdonald's and such that you can get a good burger anywhere, right? first off, i'm obviously not talking about fast food burgers, because of course by and large a mcdonald's burger tastes pretty much the same everywhere. there might be some slight differences from country to country, but beef is beef.

i'm talking about burgers in restaurants, at home, etc. here it seems a burger means to not take ground beef (or what they call mince here) and form it in a patty and cook. oooh no, that'd be too easy, i guess. here you take the mince and put all sorts of crap in it. to me, you only mess around with the mince when you're making meatloaf. then it's perfectly fine to go adding veggies and sauces to the meat, but if it's a burger? i want just meat and nothing else in that patty. it makes it taste weird, the texture is all off, and just overall ruins it.

even worse, kiwis like really weird shit on their burgers. i'm already kind of odd about just liking cheese only on a burger (though i do add ketchup - though they call that tomato sauce here - or barbecue sauce to it) and no tomato or whatever. but still, when you go to america and poll on burger toppings, you'll likely get: lettuce, tomato, maaaybe onions and pickles. as for sauces, probably ketchup and/or mustard, sometimes mayo. here, they put on the usual lettuce and tomato but then they go and add beets (which they call beetroot) to it too. wtf?? that doesn't belong on a burger! plus the veggies are called a salad. it's not a fucking salad! a salad is a side dish or if it's bigger, a meal. it's not a topping. even wikipedia agrees with me.

then there's the cheese. unsurprisingly, american cheese doesn't exist here. i can be a foodie, and i do like other cheeses, but to me this is the quintessential burger cheese. so sadly this means i need to find something else. for fast food they still either use american or something that looks an awful lot like it, unsurprisingly since they can afford to import it. tasty cheese seems to be the norm here. it's called tasty because apparently there's some big thing about calling cheddar cheese that when it's not produced in the cheddar region (either we don't have those laws in america or we just only get it from there, which i doubt) so it's a lot like cheddar. but i don't like it. i have nothing against cheddar cheese, but tasty cheese tastes like shit. it's okay when it's kind of hidden by other things (like lasagne, for example) but when it's a main ingredient like a cheeseburger it's gross. luckily there's smoky cheese which comes in slices and bars (i need to try putting it in lasagne or something) which is okay.

finally, the bread. bread is bread so this isn't really an issue.

in conclusion, the burgers here suck. at least i have fast food (mcdonald's tastes the same here as back home, and luckily burger king is actually good here instead of the bland crap back home. and wendy's is the same: shitty service at night, and the food is always a crapshoot.) that's consistent. i suppose it goes to show a burger and fries is the quintessential american meal, and at least here it's not really duplicated.

things i miss about america, part 1

as is to be expected whenever one moves not just to another city, but especially to another country, there's bound to be places one will miss. it happens to everyone. no matter how many chains you think you eat at, you'll still find yourself missing something local. combine that with the fact that i'm in a country where a lot of american chains don't exist, and yeah.

chain restaurants

of course you can go pretty much everywhere and still get mcdonald's and starbucks, but there's still so much in america you can't get here. when i say chain restaurants, i don't mean fast food but that awesome level of casual dining where you get seated, are given a menu, order at the table, etc. chili's, tgi friday's, all those places. sadly these places aren't in nz and there's really no equivalent here. there is denny's (still haven't determined if it's owned by the same company or what, but they are very similar at least) but that's it. at least like denny's in america, you can expect okay food and terrible service.

i miss it though, being able to get food brought to you but being able to go somewhere cheaper than a nice restaurant. sure the food's all mass-processed, i know that, and that's what can be nice about it. it's a nice familiarity to know no matter where in the country you go, you can sit down and order something at any chili's and it (well, it should anyway) taste the exact same everywhere. chili's isn't my favourite restaurant by any stretch of the imagination, but in terms of this genre i suppose i'd say it is. their food's got a nice flavour (probably because every dish seems to have 80+ grams of fat even if it's something grilled) and they have a ton of variety. i could go there for weeks and not order the same thing twice.

nz is in many ways as up-to-date as any other country on a lot of things, but i suppose due to the distance from countries like the us and uk, in many ways they seem to be just slightly behind the times on some things (such as internet and mobile phone pricing) and in some ways, hopelessly behind the times. this instance falls under the latter, i'd say. chain restaurants have been big in america for decades and many have spread to other countries, though somehow nz has managed to avoid them. even australia has a couple, the only one i can remember off the top of my head is tgi friday's (though they're only in victoria). there's also at least one hard rock café in australia, but none here, even though new zealand has a wealth of musical history.

it's one of those things, if i had the money, i could easily go to one of these chains and show them what a potential cash cow they have on their hands and start up a franchise here. but i don't, so i can't. i think it's going to happen soon, though. while someone can argue there are such restaurants like that here - pubs, it's not the same. like chains, pubs to tend to offer a fairly similar menu from pub to pub, but it's not varied. most pubs can fit their menu on one or two pages, while a chain restaurant spans several pages (or is a small book if it's the cheesecake factory).

anyway, i think it'll happen soon, maybe later this decade a chain will finally have the courage to open a couple locations in nz, even if it's just in one city to test the waters.